My BDSM Commandments

1. Do No Harm

I know it seems kind of obvious, but this lifestyle isn't about damaging each other. You're free to disagree all you want, and I know some do, but if you are willing to consent to be harmed or damaged, either physically or mentally, you need professional help. Dominants are charged with the responsibility to leave their submissives better than they found them. Tearing someone down instead of building them up is Bad Dominance, IMO.

2. Never Strike in Anger

Now, it's true that wailing on someone is great stress relief, and can do a lot for your everyday frustrations. But if you are passionately upset with someone, for the Love of Pete, talk to them about it before you commence with the hitting. Violating number 2 can quickly lead to number 1.

3. No Cavemen Allowed

Of course you're entitled to your beliefs. But if you are a bigot or a misogynist, you need to leave that junk at the door before you get freaky. Women in the scene are hard enough to come by, do you really think you're going to win them over with sexism? We're all here to do what floats our boats, and women are going to do that however they please, with or without your approval. Deal with it.

4. Real Slavery is Illegal and Immoral

Some people like to do Total Power Exchange, 24/7 D/s, or what have you. Some people call themselves Master and slave. And that's fine. But real life will always intrude. And real slavery is BAD. Trying to approximate it as closely as possible is dangerous and immoral, no matter how badly both parties want it. Let Master-and-slaveitude be a little pretend - I'm pretty sure it will still be hot.

5. Don't Drink and Drive

One beer is probably not an issue. But alcohol slows your reaction time and impairs your judgment. If you're doing anything more intense than spanking, I recommend holding back on the sauce. If you are doing any kind of bondage, don't get drunk. Bondage can lead to accidental injury or death much more quickly than a wooden paddle.

The same standard applies for other intoxicants. If you are on legal meds that might make you fuzzy, make sure everyone involved is aware of it, and try to adjust your activities accordingly. If you are into the illegal kind, mixing it with the lifestyle is a risk, period. And DON'T bring anything illegal into the scene. Nobody wants it, and you'll be lucky if they only throw you out. Leathermen have gotten very bold - if you bring Crystal Meth onto their turf they will call the police. And I say good for them. There's no reason we should have to forego the right to be protected from crankheads and crank dealers. I'll go on the record as saying that pot is pretty harmless as drugs go, but meth is some nasty shit.